命

Lets learn to be contented and live life to the fullest. Stop thinking of those 有的没有的。Firstly its very 時間もったいない。Secondly, it will make you very unhappy.

素直になれ！This is the basic respect you can give for your own life. Don't waste 这一口气that so many people out there are struggling for just in order to live so that they can see the next morning and be together with thier love ones.

人生の終わりって怖いかな。。

Facing death is not an easy task, it is probably the greatest challenge in one's entire life. So please do not make it sound as if it is something easy or simple and that we should be able to accept it just like that because it is a natural progression.

The truth is before anyone can truly accept death and be at ease with this fact, it would require enormous amount of courage and faith. The pain that they experience is immense. This pain could be physical but more so emotionally. So the next time you want to say that death is not scary and it is only natural and correct, think twice on how you can phrase what you want to say with more tact and insight. If you can't think of anything better to say, keep quiet. Have some respect for these people who are trying so hard to come to consensus with thier own death, respect the effort that they are putting in. When it comes to your turn and you are not afraid and you think it is not scary and not upsetting, then it is really great but right now respect others and emphatise.

I could be wrong, so pardon me.

欲哭无泪

I want to write something.

Can someone hold my hand and bring me through whatever I am about to go through. I am very scared. No, Penny! no one is going to hold your hand...wake up your idea....you are stronger than a cow and bigger than an elephant....

okie....i will try very hard....but please prepare alot of tissue paper and a shoulder for me to cry...

I thought I could write something better than this....

我回来了。可是我笑不出来。我不知道要写设么，我真的笑不出来，真的。

あなたへ

Time flies. This is such a cliche phrase and I apologise for not being able to find a better alternative.

It is going to be the last day, or at least for a very long period of time before I will see this friend in Leicester again. The feeling of knowing that someone is leaving is an awkward feeling.

Be it a friend leaving UK to go back home or someone who is leaving forever, we always are afraid of what is going to happen without this person in our lives. But deep down somewhere we all know that life will still be the same even when people leave. Even when we are left alone, life will eventually be the same cause we are like cells, in fact we are made of cells and thus we adapt to our environment. Initially some cells become stress and they die when the environment changes...but other cells undergo metaplasia and they adapt. This is how we become resistant and stronger mentally with age and experience even if that means being jaded.

It was a cocktail of feelings when I met that friend today. I have been so use to having this person around. Though we are not talking everyday or hanging around like superglue..the presence of this friend had somewhat given me quite a bit of strength.

Well....I am not exactly upset because there is nothing essentially to be upset about in fact we should be happy. But it is just a weird feeling, a very omoi feeling... chotto sabishii gurai kana....This friend has always been a phone call away no matter what time of day. Always there to listen to my complains, always there to tell me stupid things so that i can pretend to be happy and laugh. And you know me...the more I pretend the more real it becomes.

I feel very nasakenai...but for those times that I needed help for the most ridiculous things from toilet paper to light bulb, I am really glad, this friend was around...for those times I needed to cry, I am thankful this friend is always listening on the other side of the phone and saying nothing except that I should stop crying because I sound horrible and all those words about how ugly and dirty I am....All this made me laugh amidst my tears and pain...Thankful was a lie. I just didnt want to sound too mushy....I felt more than thankful, much more.

Leicester is not going to be the same without this friend....for awhile.....but eventually it will be. We make new friends and we find new things to do but that doesnt mean I will not forget this very dependable and good friend and of course I will keep this friendship for as long it can last. Just like cells, we have acquired immunity, we change to adapt but we do not forget. Not a very smooth analogy but bear with it.

Okie I just walked up from my friends room. Okie closing the door behind and knowing that its going to be last time I visit this friend at the room feels weird. tada no tomodachi nandakedo...kitto sabishii ni naru da mo ne watashi ha, kare ga inai toki ni. kare mou sou omotterkureru kana....

For you.

watashi no daiji na tomodachi ni....ii kotoba wo anata no mae ni hazukashii kara ienai kedo, hontou ha anata wo shiawase ni natte hoshii desu, koi no koto mo, shigoto no koto mo ne.

自慢な写真を見せます

Which one is better? I think the first one is great....! Its looks so me!

もしもの話Part 2

もう一回Part 1を読むと、自分を言った事は厳しい過ぎると思いますよ。
皆はどう思ってるかな？

前だけを見て、進めなさい

私は今日からそうします。。過去を忘れて、強くなって、前に進めます。今からなんにを起こしても、超えていきます。もっと、もっと自分の目標を考えて、叶えるように頑張っていきます。

soreto....saikin sugoku kizuita kedo...atashi...eigo de jibun no kimochi wo arawasenai desu...nande daro...nanka...okashii sore de hazukashiin desu....hoka no hito ni tottara sugoku hen to omoimasu kedo hontouni sou ni nacchau desu...eigo de jibun no kimochi wo kakitai kedo....dekinai....dare ni mo atashi no kangae wo tsutaerarenai you ni natta....mawari ha nihongo shabereru hito ga amari inai dakara chotto kurushii....eigo tte sa....tsuyoi sugi to omowanai? watashi no kimochii tte sonna ni komakai kana. dareka tasukete kudasai.

translate this to english !!

頭いたい

なんか。。。人間は食べないと死ぬだよね！あたし今頭いたい。。メッチャ痛いなんですけど。。何でだろ？ちゃんとたべたなのに！！

とりあえず、痛いです。おなかも痛い。目も痛い。鼻も痛い、耳も痛い、口も痛い。それと、心臓も痛い。。手も痛い、足も痛い、痛い！！！！全身いたいです！！誰か、そんななさけないわたくしを助けてくれませんか？くれ！なんでもくれ。。

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!　

Hello kitty is a species of its own. It is not a cat. It is hello kitty. Hello kitty is 5 apples tall and 3 apples heavy. She was born on 1st Nov. Hello kitty's family includes her father, Geroge white, her mother, Mary white. Her grandparents, anthony and magaret white. Her sister mimmy white. Hello kitty's favourite food is her mother's apple pie. She loves english and piano. Hello kitty has a mouth, her mouth is under her fur.

Believe me.

やべぇぇぇぇ

私の頭はどこに行っちゃったの？もううう。。。逃げた。。。頭が逃げちゃった。。

Ashita yaro,baka yaro...

This is my favourite song....If you haven heard I can teach you how to sing next time.....Thanks ニーック！＝）

もしもの話 Part1

もしもの話か。。

実は、もしもの話なんか、すかんだもあたしは。。。なぜ皆もしもの話するとわからなかった。。思ってる事とやりたい事を、やればいいじゃ。。それならもしもの話は必要ないじゃないですか？

やりたいことをやってないから後悔してる、それか自分がやりたいことを怖いと思ってるから進む勇気がない、結局人にもしもの話するしか何にもできない。まぁ、後悔してるほどじゃないかもしれんけど、少しでも悔しいな気持ちがあったんじゃない？

もしもの話するのは自信を持てない症状と思います。


ほかの人に気持ちや考えを伝えたい、自分にもう一度相手から励ましたい、認めたいだからもしものはなししたんじゃないですか？それと。。もし相手から、“私もそうしたかったな”、“もしそうしたら良かったな”と言ってくれましたら，必ずほっとする。それで自分が“良かったな。。わたしひとりじゃなかった”と思ってしまう。それでいいの？

half a chicken!

Nandos....half a chicken. fries and coleslaw.....and i still can eat....i think my stomach as stretched....QY only ate half a chicken.....Seriously if it was 1 chicken, I think I would have been able to finish it as well. ok mayb not but still.

I just got to know that a fren and another fren broke up. They were one of those couples I thought might be together for real, but seems like i am always wrong when it comes to this kind of things. Anw, the main point is one of them got a job in Merril lynch. Why is everyone going into banking? apparently salaries are massive now in the banking industry....and these people who are getting these massive salaries are.......my friends. My age.

Sigh....while I am sitting here feeding my little blog almost everyday....with uninteresting stories about my poor student life, people are making big money everywhere else. Well....but i have nothing to complain....I am happy with writing about how much chicken and TWIX I had today....But I just wish and pray that I will become a more diligent student..

Power Rangers

I have plans to change my air tickets back home to the 18th of June. Its a sudden plan but not so sudden. I thought I could wait, but seems like there is not much time now. Its the only thing I can do. I need to speak to the school. And I will be missing the entire ethics week which is compulsory and I also will notbe getting my results. and I am abit worried about that.

But, I really need this bloody courage to go tell the school. I need to go back. MUST. I need alot of power and strength!!! Give me some power ranger!

Today. 今日.

10 things I did today....

1o things is about the maximum number of things i did today...

1. Watched the entire drama, 'Attention Please'. Its about some air-stewardess.Well I like the male lead inside...but even being the male lead he only appeared like minimal..."maybe its cos the show is about air-stewardess" .....baka

2. I ate one packet of tom yam maggi mee...then decided I shall leave my pot in the sink....for something exciting to grow inside..

3. I was talking to sarah....and she was telling me how much fun she is having an immunology lab in osaka university. Listening to her stories about DNA extraction, PCR, ELISA, SDS-page....I suudenly...well not suddenly...more like always....feel like doing lab work too...

4. I repeat watch 'Attention Please'. I got this new habit recently.....i keep re-watching shows that I have watched b4. and I leave it playing for 24 hours on my small little lap top....so that it becomes so hot....it helps to keep me warm in this cold weather.

5. Actually I was lying about the cold weather...the weather is very warm now...!!! so warm I think my labtop fan haxe decided to go to heaven. The keyboard is so hot, its making me feverish

6. I went to visit fuji tv website to look for the names of other dramas......that I have missed....to realise there is nothing exciting....rather I cant find them uploaded

7. Then...there is this corner on fuji telebi website on fortune-telling...ha....I decided to click on it...cos the button is so colourful and cute....okie that was a lie...haha.....it didnt tell me anything interesting...that was a lie too.....

8. Stop lying PENNY! Okie. Then i decided to check out the bread on my table....since my pot is dirty and my hair is too messy for me to get to the kitchen. My half a loaf of bread is going expire today...never mind.....I will freeze it!

9. I continue to lie on my bed.....pretending to sleep.....

10. I fell asleep after 1 hour of pretending....=)

Very interesting day right...

初デート

”じゃぁ。。これは初デートなんだ！！”

えぇぇ。。。初デートが。。私もデートしたい！誰かさそってくれ！したい！！遊びたい！！このままじゃ、わたしがなくなるよ！！助けてくれ！！I WANT TO GO デート！！I dont want to 自分の部屋でChocoたべる！

涙の前に

きゅに、この言葉って言うか歌の名前を思い出した。。だけね。ははぁ！