１リットルの涙

Congratulations! I have changed my playlist....No more七月歌台songs..... :)

同情はなんに？

同情なら悪いですか？

ただほかの人の悲しみや気持ちをちゃんとわかりたい。。支えてあげたいだけですって言ってくれた。。

これは同情の純粋な意味のかな？だけど。。どうやって同情を普通な気持ちで受け取れるかな？

私は同情なんかあまり好きじゃないって言うか。。同情をほかの人からさせられた時、なにをすればいいのかわからないです。。怒るわけないし。。喜ぶわけでもないだよね。。だから困る。。それと。。少しいでも自分のことはかわいそうと思ってしまうだから。。みんなからの同情をいただきたくないね！

それで。。わがままですか？こどもぽいな考えがたかな？

知らん

強い女は可愛くない

だけど、これはしょうがないじゃないでしょう。。毎日泣くわけないじゃ。。わたしはやっぱ強くなりたい。。

強い女は可愛くない＝Girls who are strong are not cute

まぁ。。Doudemoii けど。。。Haha..しょうがないだよ。。しょうがない！

Just by choosing 8 colours they told me.....

You are seeking protection against anything which might seem to be exhausting you or tiring you out. It would appear that you are seeking a life of security and physical ease, free from any problem or disturbance.

You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image. You need for those people in positions that matter to recognise your potential and to acknowledge you.

You are a very choosy person - demanding and exacting in your emotional demands and very particular in your choice of partner. You are self-sufficient and as a result of this overbearing nature you find it difficult to establish any depth of deep physical or mental involvement with members of the opposite sex.

The unwanted situation in which you presently find yourself is causing you considerable stress and frustration and your feeling is that whatever you try to do to remedy this is to no avail. You feel trapped. You want to get away from it all as you feel that you are banging your head against a brick wall getting nowhere. You have turned your aggression inwards and you are furious with yourself for not being able to achieve your goals. You need to go away, somewhere where there are less restrictions and where you can be free to make your own decisions.

You feel worn out - you have no energy and your depleted vitality has created intolerance for any further stimulation. You feel inadequate and this subjects you to agitation, irritation and acute distress from which you try to escape by refusing further direct participation. You have become very wary and cautious but you have an inner strength. You have that determination to get your own way and succeed in the end.


Suprising just by picking 8 colours, this report is almost 100% true...

I am a happy person inherently but under chronic stress. I like the last part....about the inner strength make me sound like super dumbo elephant.....STRONG AND HARDY!!

救命！

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

A T C G

あ　い　う　え　お
か　き　く　け　こ
た　ち　つ　て　と
さ　し　す　せ　そ
ま　み　む　め　も
は　ひ　ふ　へ　ほ
な　ね　ぬ　ね　の
ら　り　る　れ　ろ
や　ゆ　よ
わ　
（あと、何にがある？わすれたぁぁ！！)

I went to the supermarket and bought 2 packet of Twix today. There is 7 of them in a pac and 1 pac is only 1.28 pounds! So cheap!!! Soon I will have a love-hate relationship with Twix....Life is not about Nutella anymore!!! Now life is about tearing the Tiix wrapper and gooble the 2 fingers of TWIX into my STOMACH!!!

Btw some facts about Twix, one finger is 148 kcal. sounds like not very fat hor....BUT I TELL YOU! it is very 肥! but its better than snickers....snickers is by far the most Fei-ta-ningchocalate but its so chunky and worth the money....sometimes u just cant help but want to choose them over floppy skinny TWIX.

(fei-ta-ning= fat + fatal)

I love to talk about all this NONSENSE. it makes me feel happy and smart....it makes me wanna laugh at my own weirdness too.....

Do you think I am weird??? TELL ME and I will buy u sweets.....oh many of u must be tired of sweets now....OK i shall be generous..... I will BUY u TWIX!!

I really dont want to write anything on my blog today BUT

I have to say something about this song....the first song on my playlist.....きよしのソーラン節(kiyoshi no so-ran kai) by 氷川きよし(Hikawa Kiyoshi) ....haha...This is one cute song. I dunno about you....but it makes me laugh....hahaha.....Okie I have to admit I am into Japanese enka...so forgive me if u are totally disgusted....Brilliant Song!!

Btw....the singer is in his 20s....not old at all....and he is really good with this enka(演歌) thing...

氷川きよし大好き！

Infective Endocarditis

Dont write me off from the movie music and lyrics

Simple song, simple melody, simple lyrics. So simple, Good for penny. I like. haha. Go listen!

Thanks splinter hemorrhages!!

My handphone started playing jap songs during lecture today. Very loudly

Ten things about me.

1. Hello kitty is not a cat. Its a species of its own.

2. I hate it when people ask me what are my hobbies. because I dun have any and so if i say i dun have any...they will say oh come on I am sure u have some. Then I will say...okie i like to eat, sleep, laugh and talk. Then they go....oh ya hahah...me too (who doesnt?) People tend to have a misconception that it is only normal to have hobbies. Assumptions!

3. I am still combing my hair with a kerokerokeropi brush that I had for the past 15 years but only started using it 5 yrs ago. I lurp kerekerokeropi....the reason y its called kerokerokeroppi is cause, when it talks it goes "kero kero kero"

4. Singing a birthday song for me with a birthday cake during my birthday party is equivalent to pushing my face directly into the birthday cake. (Therefore i never had and will have bday parties)

5. I have an appetite of a cow. I believe we have 2 compartment in our stomach, one for sweet stuff and one for salty.

6. I am inherently a very childish person though I try not to not make it seem so apparent. I try.

7. I have a jade bangle on my left hand permanently. I decided that at the age of 21 I should add something onto myself. So jade bangle was it. Somehow i think i can carry it off. I think. By the way its turning greener these days. could be the fungus though...=)

8. I like to use the words majide and doudemoii. Majide means "really?" and doudemoii means "whatever". The english version of these words sounds very harsh and manly. Therefore I think the japanese version is more appropriate to describe how I feel most of the time. I am a very gentle person if you didnt realise...:)

9. I am a very uncomplicated person. I dont think into depth when it comes to daily living. People usually assume too much about my character, they think i should be more than what is appearing in front of them. Dun assume.

10. After reading all the above 9 points, people usually end up saying " I think she is probably lying..." or " haha....its one of her nonsense" Which group do you belong to?

ありがとうございました。。

Thank you..彼!! 彼is very good 友達。何でも聴いてくれた。Very良かったよ。

Burn Down the Nutella Factory now....!

Majide...!! you mean I actually looked like that a few months ago....so skinny!??!...For your information I look like an elephant now...!!! :)

Dont miss the train.

I pray for those who are ill, for those in pain, for those fighting to stay alive. I pray for those whose loved ones are suffering. I pray. I pray that they have the strength and courage to face whatever they are given. I pray for those who are sick to fight the disease, to face death with calmness and peace. I pray that they will learn to accept death. I pray that they feel the warmth of the people around them. I pray that at this last stage of thier lives, they reflect on thier lives and realised that it has not been a waste. I pray they remember all the good things that have happened and leave with a contented heart.

I pray that the tears will stop. I pray that the pain will heal. I pray for man to understand what these people are going through and to be a pillar of support for them. I pray for man to realise that life is not all about being the first in class, not all about being rich, not all about winning, not all about ourselves. Life to some is about staying alive, staying to see the next morning. Life to others is about praying for their loved ones to see the next morning.

Life to me is to see him through his final challenge and to hold his hand and tell him not be scared, to tell him that he is always in heart and always will be. To tell him that he is the best thing that ever happened to me, to tell him that I will be strong even without him.

Life is about giving hope. What is life to you?

母の日ありがとうございます！

忘れないんでね。。お母さんにありがたい気持ちを伝えなさい

空まで飛べるはず

幼い微熱を下げられないまま　神様の影を恐れて
隠したナイフが似合わない僕を　おどけた歌でなぐさめた
色褪せながら　ひび割れながら　輝くすべを求めて

君と出会った奇跡が　この胸にあふれてる
きっと今は自由に空も飛べるはず
夢を濡らした涙が　海原へ流れたら
ずっとそばで笑っていてほしい

切り札にしてた見えすいた嘘は　満月の夜にやぶいた

はかなく揺れる　髪のにおいで　深い眠りから覚めて

君と出会った奇跡が　この胸にあふれてる
きっと今は自由に空も飛べるはず
ゴミできらめく世界が　僕たちを拒んでも
ずっとそばで笑っていてほしい

君と出会った奇跡が　この胸にあふれてる
きっと今は自由に空も飛べるはず
夢を濡らした涙が　海原へ流れたら
ずっとそばで笑っていてほしい

This was my favourite song 5 years ago. And for the past 5 years I have totally forgotten about its existance until I heard it playing on Sarah's laptop last month. "Penny...remember this song? Its our favourite!!!" she said and I was like.....yeah actually I do.....

After Sarah left, I secretly went to look for this song in my ancient MD player under my chunk of notes and biscuits wrappers. Although I found it, I was reluctant to listen to it again because of the overdose 5 years ago. But when I finally pressed the play button, memories came gushing back to the front my puny brain. I was thankful I pressed the button and re-visited that compartment in my brain that was left untouched all these years. Untouched because, too many new things have been coming along my way and I have forgotten about those that I once treasured and loved dearly. Thankful because I earned 5 minutes of happy memories that I have lost for 5 years.

The feeling I had while listening to this song was like flipping through a photo album of me wtih someone who is no longer around. I can almost feel the happiness and sweetness while looking at the album, but once I reach final page just like when the song ended, whats left behind is only, NOW.

The reason why I did not want to press the play button in the start was not because of the overdose I realised. It was because I was afraid of facing the fact that what will be left in front of me once the song ended is NOW.

Throughout these years, I have learnt to acknowledge the fact that people leave us and memories will just remain as memories. Nevertheless, at any one point in life, we will be left with our memories, ourselves and NOW so be grateful that at least we still have NOW to play around with.

誰かに。。

桜と関係ないけど。。。

誰か。。私の弱さを教えてくれないか？？教えてください！！

試験のStressで私はもうすぐ死ぬと思います。まぁぁ。。死ぬわけないやんな。。だけどぉぉぉストレス！！！このストレスを殺したい、つぶしたい。ストレスにおならをしたい。。はは。。楽しい！！

ね。。今の私もしかしてちょっと精神病ぽい。。。あぁぁ。。。やっぱ精神病だ。
良かったね。。ペニーちゃん。よくやった

変　

ペニーへ

"Please dont be a 大头虾。。。"

Aunty Jeanより

Title-less

This is going to be the first blog I have ever written and it could well be the last as well.

I have never believed in this blogging thing and I have never thought I would ever need one...but who knows really....who knows about anything.

Its the exam period and instead of reading my ever so exciting anatomy textbook, I have been doing everything else but that....ya tell us something we dont know penny.

The objective of this blog is to bring out the most baka baka shi penny....so if you are going to tell me you are not impress about what i m going to write in this virtual space.....then I am going to tell you i am not impressed either.

I am a very angry person today. Anger is oozing out every single pore in my body. Maybe its exam stress but its not a valid reason. Oh then again penny. it could jolly well be PMS....cant be....not anywhere near at all.

Angry because I had a pointless argument with a friend. It was so pointless I have no idea how it started, why it started, then how it ended and what was the conclusion to that quarrel. Neither do I know what the both of us were aiming at. Well at least from my point of view, I think i am trying to make things as clear as glass noodles but apparently its mudding the water according to my friend. Sorry but I am a little shocked over here.

I guess I felt more insulted after having a serious conversation with this friend. Because my friend also told me..." I know you are more affected about this thing than I am....so you can do whatever you want to do" "I just feel that all these things you have said and thought its all nonsense penny" "I am not going to read your email because I think its all bull" WOah woah woah....those were brillant statements isnt it. But I guess I shouldnt be too proud the fact that by attempting to express myself and to clear misunderstandings, things appear to be a piece of bullshit to this someone I call a friend....I mean whats wrong with me....Issit the excessive mackeral or nutella. Then again, is the problem me?

Frankly, I do not know how to react to those statements. SO I laughed. hahaha..... Its funny because at that moment, I was stuck...stuck in my laughter....Funny but not so funny.

Friends come and go. I try my best to make them stay happily when they are still a friend. but the question is, how should I react to friend who despite knowing my buttons, push them...actively. Seriously, I may be a little strange here and there, but generally normal and big hearted I would say. I do not in anyway deserve such treatment, expecially from this friend. Then again,I could be lying about the fact that I am normal and NICE. But you have eyes, and you know the truth.

But the queer thing is.....All these episodes with this friend is so much of a de javu. Well, I have been through this exact same process of quarreling, bickering and screaming with someone else too. Someone else who I now call my close friend. Its going to be a very very tedious process to know a person even if its just a friend and I am a lazy person. So....after all these venting of my anger, the conclusion is we shall let time tell.

Though i am not someone who likes to let time tell me things....because I rather tell time what I want, just to make sure. Sometimes you just have to trust, Penny.


Period.